A friend of mine grew up in the inner city, a world of asphalt, concrete, steel and the growl of combustion engines. Outside his apartment a solitary lime tree sprung from the pavement. Every day he’d climb that tree. He says he perched there for what seemed like most of his childhood, watching the world […]
love
Making humans who serve life
There was a time in your ancestry, either within living memory or well beyond depending on your particular lineage, when a child was raised not to be all that she could be, but to serve life. Raising a child like that takes a lot of cultural savvy. The songs, the stories, the games, the rituals, […]
Short-cut to an embrace
It’s hard to embrace your screaming child. Often because your child isn’t receptive when he’s enraged. Or maybe because you don’t feel very loving. That’s a hard place for a parent, knowing that right now you don’t feel affection. All you want is to match your kids anger with some of your own. Arguing doesn’t […]
R.I.P. love
Drama doesn’t fan passions, it kills love. When every joint decision becomes a battle, you all lose. Bills, vacations, renovations, investments, bedtimes, discipline, meals. It gets too exhausting to put on the armor every time you have to reach an agreement. Sooner or later, one of you surrenders, and the other claims victory. And the […]
Freedom to play
A child expresses her love for life through play. It’s natural. We are born with the gifts for spontaneity, fluidity, improvisation, acceptance, creativity, presence and a delight for learning. Given the slightest chance, children will form roving groups of peers that romp outdoors, far from the supervision of adults. A child who loses this freedom, […]
Flood the troubled child with love
Any child gets troublesome when there’s a tear in their most cherished relationships. She may be passive aggresive, anxious, manipulative, or fight with her sibling. There may be nothing you can say to resolve her pain. But there may be something powerful you can do. Flood your child with love. When all else fails, take […]
Want your child to care? Cultivate your empathy.
A mentor of mine once told me we don’t learn how to be more loving or empathetic. We’re naturally loving from birth. The difference is small but significant. We don’t have to strive to feel more or improve ourselves. This perspective is a cultural illness. It affects us when we internalize the industrial ideals of […]
The richest inheritance you can give
It’s not wealth, property or an expensive education. The richest inheritance we can offer our child is our joy. It flows from us when we learn to love ourselves and others. It’s our laughter. Our delight. Our curiosity. Our awe. Our gratitude. Our acceptance. Our passion. Our playfulness. Our vitality. It’s the gift of our […]