You don’t have to be the consequence visited upon your child’s choices. Let winter teach her what it’s like to rush out without putting on that extra pair of warm socks. Let molten wax on the knuckle of her pinkie teach her about a burning candle. The most loving way to parent can be to […]
teaching
Connect before you direct
Coming out of our house, I see my youngest son peeing all over our new patio. I’m incredulous, and tell him to get a bucket and wash the stones. Later I ask how come he peed there. And here’s what he tells me–he was competing with his brother to see who could pee the farthest […]
Tending a good fire under any condition
We all have a fire to tend. It burns inside of us. A good fire is welcoming. It draws people in to hear your stories, or enjoy the comfort of your good company. Sometimes your fire burns too strong. On days like that, your family doesn’t know whether to approach you at all. You’re giving […]
One-liners: parenting in a single sentence
“It’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.” My son spoke this sentence today. We were stuck with the car in an icy ditch. Foolishly, I had tried to reverse uphill on a crust of compacted snow and rain. There was a lot for me to learn here (and model too!). He’s heard […]
Be your child’s compass in times of transitions
The world is new to a child, so many things encountered and sensed for the first time, so many transitions from comfort into the unknown. Being born from the coziness of the womb into the harsh light of day. The slow descent of the sun and the onset of the dark night and dreamland of […]
Discipline asks that you’re clear on what you value
Discipline is teaching, and teaching works best when there’s a relationship of trust with your child. We build trustful relationships over time. It requires consistency and clarity and good role modelling. If like many parents you’re unsure how to discipline your child, start by getting clear on what your core values are. Your values are […]
The parental paradox of discipline
We all want to know how to discipline our child. Sometimes this is another way of controlling our child. But discipline at heart means to teach. Our child is our disciple, a follower. To really know something, teach it. Our child is our teacher. How we teach determines what we learn. In other words, when […]