The walls of our home have to be spacious enough to house all of our child’s personality and gifts, while solid enough to mold her behavior. The distinction is not obvious. When we parent the behavior, we’re teaching our child how to be a regenerative human being, someone who comes of age ready to serve […]
gifts
Becoming a family servant
In a few days, a dozen or so men are gathering at our farm around a man about to become a father. So I’ve spent some time pondering what this moment asks of us, now that his life seems to be taking him away from a certain singularity awash in endless possibilities, towards an obligation […]
The spell of potential
There are a few spells around, beliefs that are so common we hardly notice their insidious impact on how we lead our lives. Like when we tell a child “You can be anything you want to be”, without us actually having any way to know what that child’s potential truly is. Potential has no definite […]
Attachment beyond mom and dad
Attachment theory places a child’s sense of belonging at the breast of the mother, or in the lap of the father. But we’re all born with a need for attachment to a home that is far vaster than the nuclear family. Imagine instead an attachment theory that knows the pain of being uprooted and adrift, […]
What if your child doesn’t say thank you?
A friend came to stay with us and brought gifts for our children–two really cool, powerful flashlights. The boys loved them, but they didn’t say thank you. They rarely do, and that’s ok for us, but sometimes it rankles people. This is all our fault; we’ve never told them to say thank you when receiving […]
Your child’s gift holds the family together
What sets every family member apart is what holds the family together. This is an old ancestral understanding. The strength of our relationships grows from our willingness to honor, celebrate and cultivate our differences. Every child has a unique gift, talent, passion that complements the gifts of others. These are the variegated threads of a […]
Broken chrysalis
The world is being broken open, and you may break with it, like a chrysalis. This is one way we heal–breaking down whatever separates us from the whole. So rupture the cocoon of factory-mind, emerge resplendently winged. Take flight, by submitting to all that lies beyond this sugared shell spun like a spell around your […]
Freedom to play
A child expresses her love for life through play. It’s natural. We are born with the gifts for spontaneity, fluidity, improvisation, acceptance, creativity, presence and a delight for learning. Given the slightest chance, children will form roving groups of peers that romp outdoors, far from the supervision of adults. A child who loses this freedom, […]
Autumn and every family in transition
The equinox just past, and every family is in transition, whether in cities or countryside, apartments or houses. It’s on the winds, in the rains, under our feet and in the canopies. And it’s in our children too. They’re called indoors, to fires and candles and stories and games and comforting blankets. Like seeds, they’re […]