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gardener

How to plant your child in community

November 29, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

I’ve heard from many parents who dream of planting their children in community. Like them, maybe you too have raised your head and looked around and seen nothing but fragments of a village, shards of a tribe, threads of an ancestral tapestry. You think at times of moving your family to where community seems more […]

Validation is a fertilizer

November 12, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

Timely validation helps our child master herself. When we notice that she can now safely handle a knife, we help her integrate this new skill. When we decide our child can now cross the street on his own, he gets to practice his increased capacity for autonomy. Validation is a timely fertilization of emergent growth […]

Too much support for the sapling topples the tree

November 2, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

A newly planted sapling needs stakes to support it against strong winds. If you leave the stakes in too long, though, the tree suffers. It grows taller, but its roots don’t spread. When the stakes are removed, the tree is thin and weak, and breaks or falls in the first storm. Too many stakes prevent […]

Raise your child inside a walled garden

October 15, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

Mythology is rich with stories of a walled garden. Inside there are treasured plants, a verdant richness, great beauty and solace. Outside of the walls there is all that is untended, unlimited and beyond our influence. As parents it helps to be mindful of the walls we build around our children. They need us to […]

Every family needs a gardener

September 30, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

Every family is an ecosystem to itself, a vegetable bed set in a larger landscape of great mosaic beauty. This fertile soil in which our children grow is a complex, wondrous, wobbling weave of ancestry, biology, spirit, life stages, genders, roles, grief and losses, professions, passions, dreams, possibilities. It is so vast even in its […]

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