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Home » feeling

feeling

Breathing through a feeling

April 18, 2019 By Miki Dedijer

Feelings are fleeting. Anger can be over in a flash. Sadness can settle and seem endless. But it’s in the nature of all feelings that they pass. And they pass faster if we don’t do violence to ourselves by supressing or fighting our feelings. Your child can learn how not to be overwhelmed by her […]

Touch your child’s heart to feel her fear

July 17, 2018 By Miki Dedijer

Fear isn’t always visible on our children’s faces, even when their bodies are in turmoil. When my son was around four, we left the farm to visit the city for the day. We sat by a market square with an ice cream each, when a red-faced, drunken man walked up to us yelling and gesticulating. […]

Your body says a lot to your child

February 8, 2018 By Miki Dedijer

Your child knows your body better than you might imagine. He knows the meaning of your hunched shoulders, the sound of your hurried heels on the floorboards, the slowly spreading smile before you get playful. Your body language says more than your words. The tone of your voice says more about your feelings than the […]

Withhold or flow

November 15, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

Family energy stops flowing when you withhold your inner life. You might want to hide your endless worry from your overworked wife. You’re secretly fuming that your husband has left his underwear on the floor again. Or you hesitate to show your joy on a day that your partner is in pain. When you withhold, […]

Making room for anger

October 26, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

Our home needs to house our entire child, every part of her, even her anger. Her screams, tantrums, rages need a large room of their own. We create space for this out of our own familiarity with distress. We teach her where to find peace again, by knowing how to find our own peace. One […]

The tears of futility

October 16, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

Transformation is most likely to happen when we find ourselves in a situation we cannot change. The first step is futility–the sense that no matter what we do, nothing changes. All our strategies to get our way prove useless. Every child knows this feeling, often several times a day. He comes last in a school […]

Want your child to care? Cultivate your empathy.

October 11, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

A mentor of mine once told me we don’t learn how to be more loving or empathetic. We’re naturally loving from birth. The difference is small but significant. We don’t have to strive to feel more or improve ourselves. This perspective is a cultural illness. It affects us when we internalize the industrial ideals of […]

Time for yourself

October 7, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

The arrival of a baby changes all relationships, including our relationship with time. Our days, and hearts, reorganize to tend to this new, tender life. One day we feel a tinge of panic, and realize we are losing our autonomy. We have hardly any time for ourselves. Listen to that tinge and take it seriously. […]

The richest inheritance you can give

October 1, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

It’s not wealth, property or an expensive education. The richest inheritance we can offer our child is our joy. It flows from us when we learn to love ourselves and others. It’s our laughter. Our delight. Our curiosity. Our awe. Our gratitude. Our acceptance. Our passion. Our playfulness. Our vitality. It’s the gift of our […]

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