In a few days, a dozen or so men are gathering at our farm around a man about to become a father. So I’ve spent some time pondering what this moment asks of us, now that his life seems to be taking him away from a certain singularity awash in endless possibilities, towards an obligation […]
father
Attachment beyond mom and dad
Attachment theory places a child’s sense of belonging at the breast of the mother, or in the lap of the father. But we’re all born with a need for attachment to a home that is far vaster than the nuclear family. Imagine instead an attachment theory that knows the pain of being uprooted and adrift, […]
You are not a father, not a mother
You are not a father or a mother. You are not a carpenter or a yoga teacher or a gardener. You are not a role-player, a work-title, a position or a label. You’re a spider. A fool. A rain drop. You are a nebula. A becoming. A being. A part of a greater whole. Easy […]
Ask your child for help to find the time to parent
I was supporting a father the other week, and after an intense, surprising and creative session with some out-of-the-box prescriptions for change, he paused and in a slow voice he said, “I just need to find the time for this.” I immediately asked: “Where will you look?” He paused a long time before conceding that […]