Miki Dedijer

Coaching for Relational Parents | Miki Dedijer

Home » chore

chore

Imagination and the art of parenting

By

Our imagination is vital to our ability to parent joyfully.

Imagination dies when our lives become routine.

It withers when we too often choose comfort over change.

It goes undergound when we become trapped in family roles.

It goes stale when we set our up lives to avoid surprises, spontaneity and the unforeseen.

It freezes when we go numb rather than embrace our lives wholeheartedly.

When our imagination is alive, we change seats at the dinner table because the view has gotten tedious. We transform a chore into a shared delight. We convert a missed train connection into an epic family adventure.

Imagination is our ability to sculpt, paint, envision or embellish the promise of a moment. It allows us to turn the ordinary, into an artful expression of life.

Finding a groove for family chores

By

Family chores are sometimes a drag, but they don’t have to be.

We often handle our daily dose of necessary tasks in a haphazard and often inefficient way. Yet somehow we get it most of it done–washing clothes, dishes, sweeping, paying bills, shopping, walking the dog, repairing, cooking, recycling. Chances are though that someone is doing more than others, and that there’s friction, frustration and overwhelm somewhere under the surface.

Here’s a suggestion that will get you out of ruts and inte more of a groove: Get the family together for a job inventory circle. You can do this even if your child is a baby. It’s a chance to get really clear on what needs doing in and around the home, who ends up doing it, and how it can be done with greater enjoyment and less strife.

In your family circle, make a list of everything that needs doing, and who is doing it.

Now ask yourselves: Is this job really necessary? And if it is, can we do it differently, less frequently, more efficiently or with greater enjoyment?

As the full picture emerges, you’ll see patterns that might surprise you. Now that you know, you can decide on the changes that you feel will make the family chores more pleasant, graceful and efficient for all.

And remember to get your child involved too, in whatever way is appropriate for his or her age.

Flow with your child’s impulse

By

It’s so easy to miss.

Your child says ‘Hey, let’s go check out the tadpoles’, and for some reason, known or unknown, you say no, sweetie, not now.

And the moment passes, maybe for the summer.

You have good reasons for not always indulging your child–chores, time, priorities, limits, plans, desires.

But there are times when you need to heed your child’s impulse as a sacred yearning that is calling for your validation and connection.

This impulse charges your childs’ body like electricity. His body ripples with joyful, excited energy.

When you meet him there, and allow yourself to be moved by his vibration, you join in his adventure. If you do, you likely rediscover a side of yourself that has lain dormant for a long time, maybe years.