In a few days, a dozen or so men are gathering at our farm around a man about to become a father. So I’ve spent some time pondering what this moment asks of us, now that his life seems to be taking him away from a certain singularity awash in endless possibilities, towards an obligation […]
ancestor
Playlist of your ancestors
Music is a bridge to our ancestors You can wander on the arch of a tune towards the loved one’s you’ve lost. For me it’s Marian Anderson’s “Coming through the rye,” a song my father would theatrically sing to us as children. Or my grandfather’s songs that he learned in Sweden’s endless spruce forests, during […]
Making humans who serve life
There was a time in your ancestry, either within living memory or well beyond depending on your particular lineage, when a child was raised not to be all that she could be, but to serve life. Raising a child like that takes a lot of cultural savvy. The songs, the stories, the games, the rituals, […]
Attachment beyond mom and dad
Attachment theory places a child’s sense of belonging at the breast of the mother, or in the lap of the father. But we’re all born with a need for attachment to a home that is far vaster than the nuclear family. Imagine instead an attachment theory that knows the pain of being uprooted and adrift, […]
Your child’s gift holds the family together
What sets every family member apart is what holds the family together. This is an old ancestral understanding. The strength of our relationships grows from our willingness to honor, celebrate and cultivate our differences. Every child has a unique gift, talent, passion that complements the gifts of others. These are the variegated threads of a […]
How to plant your child in community
I’ve heard from many parents who dream of planting their children in community. Like them, maybe you too have raised your head and looked around and seen nothing but fragments of a village, shards of a tribe, threads of an ancestral tapestry. You think at times of moving your family to where community seems more […]
Inherited wisdom
Trauma is passed through our genes from one generation to the next. And so too is our wisdom. I first heard that from Kazu Haga of the East Point Peace Academy. Haga also says, “By maintaining a relationship with our ancestral wisdom, we can build a truly peaceful world for future generations.” What inherited wisdom […]
Every child was born two times
There’s an old wisdom that says when a child is born, he arrives from the spirit-world knowing everything. But he soon forgets. The parents’ role was to help the child remember these original teachings. Every child needed to know these codes to lead a good life, respecting all his relatives and being of service to […]