There inevitably comes an age in our children’s lives when their attention and curiousity is directed more towards others than ourselves.
It’s easy then as a father or mother, flush with the business of making ends meet, to let go, understanding their outward gaze as an impending departure, rather than a cautious exploration.
Hold on to your child, is the advice of Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld to parents who notice their child’s shifting gaze and wonder what to do.
A child released too early from the family is exposed to the whims of a peer-led youth culture where each child pays for belonging with his or her vulnerability.
When parents let go too soon, the family fabric begins to fall apart and the the fire of youth is slaked by recurrent hurts, until the child becomes prematurely cool and conformist.
Hold on to your child, not by strengthening your hold but by remembering how much you still matter, and learning what your child asks of you now that she moves in widening circles around the family.