Your partner doesn’t know your secret lover called Plan B.
Plan B is softer, more loving, doesn’t smell of onions. It has nicer parents, better health, and always agrees with the values you want to share with your child. Plan B doesn’t age.
It is the other life you dream of when this one seems unbearably mundane, ordinary or average.
You call on Plan B by whispering to yourself ‘if only…’, or ‘I want more…’ or ‘that’s it…’
Whenever you’re cradling Plan B, you’re not present to your relationship. You have one foot in, and one foot out the door running towards a mirage. A part of you is absent.
Are you ready to share your secret, and tell your partner about Plan B?
How sometimes you imagine living on your own again. How you worry sitting by the bedside of your sleeping child, that you might not be up to the task of parenting. Or that you long to rekindle a tenderness that used to be there but now seems atrophied somehow.
For as long as it lasts, true comittment doesn’t house a secret lover.