Drama doesn’t fan passions, it kills love.
When every joint decision becomes a battle, you all lose. Bills, vacations, renovations, investments, bedtimes, discipline, meals. It gets too exhausting to put on the armor every time you have to reach an agreement.
Sooner or later, one of you surrenders, and the other claims victory. And the family suffers.
You can be the one to start the peace process. Practice separating your sense of self-worth from the decision to be made.