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Apologize before putting your child to bed

October 31, 2017 By Miki Dedijer

When the day comes to an end, you may have things that are left unsaid.

You may have raised your voice and sent a slight judder through your child’s body, a tremble of fear.

You may have been impatient and interrupted your child when she was immersed in play.

You may have been too busy at one point to be as attentive as your child desired.

It happens to all of us, in one way or another.

There’s a practice to stay clear of festering guilt and in good relationship with your child at days’ end: as you put your child to bed, clean up whatever remains of the day, and apologize.

I was taught this practice by a Hawaiian peacemaker. They call it Mihi Kala, a seeking of forgiveness and a loosening of negative entanglements.

As the sun sets, they apologize for any willful or unwillful hurt they may have caused their loved ones.

And they reaffirm their love for one another.

As you hold your child in your arms, you may say, ‘Honey, I raised my voice today and I saw a look on your face that seemed like fear to me. I’m so sorry sweetie. I don’t want to scare you, and I understand it was frightening for you. Forgive me. I love you. Good night my love.’

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Filed Under: Relationship Tagged With: apologize, bedtime, indigenous, relationship

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