There’s a story I’ve heard about the Aka pygmes of central Africa and their gift of polyphonic singing.
When a person among them is out of tune, tense, disconnected, the community sings him or her back into harmony.
Developmental scientists might call this attunement and attachment.
Attunement means bringing into harmony. When a mother softly holds and focuses on her baby, she intertwines their eyes, hearts and souls. It’s magical, it’s beautiful, and it’s essential to the health of the child.
Simply put, attunement leads to attachment. The child who is fully seen and safely held is connected and primed for joyful growth.
When we attune to our children we are relationally sensitive. We’re aware of our children’s feelings, their body language, their needs and wants. We pay attention. We are present.
Our children know this–they have no need to struggle for our attention or validation. They can rest and thrive.
Growth and maturation comes naturally when we are attuned to our children. Now their unique potential unfolds.
Our wholehearted presence with our children brings harmony to the family.